Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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