Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
