She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
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So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
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Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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