Moan for me like Helen Keller
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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