so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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