"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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