..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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