The brown eye won't let me do that either.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I want to fling myself into the sun
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
