let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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