i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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