Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
