She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hippo gnu deer
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If its not for food we ain't going out.
soo... how was my night?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
