'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
false alarm, still single
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
