that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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