Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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