so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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