Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
