at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
