She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
