They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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