the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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