She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My ass is underappreciated
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
