Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...