I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
