Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
