He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
