So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
