Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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