; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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