I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
