so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
