she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
