How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
