so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
