There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
