6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
