1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
