my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
