dude i'm inner monologue high
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had me at cake vodka
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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