When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I want to fling myself into the sun
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
