I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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