you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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