Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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