New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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