In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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