The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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