her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
