idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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