The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
