You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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