I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
