batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We need to get me chipped asap
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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