i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
