smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
