Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
