two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
