i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
