On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
