yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
